Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Caitlin's Infalliable Formula for Success in a New City

#1. Move there for no good reason beyond "it feels right"*

#2. Find a cozy room to inhabit considering you will be spending the majority of your time there at first. TIP: Your roommates might be the only other human beings you see or talk to on a regular basis for a month or more. Choose wisely.

#3. Catch up on any and all DVD compilations of television series' or movies you've always wanted to watch. To really get the most out of this, pair viewing with bed-appropriate snacks such as Erdnussflips and a jar of Nutella in Berlin or single serving nacho plate with sour cream dip in Portland.**

#4. Wander aimlessly during the daytime wearing killer outfits and acting purposeful. A good time to ride public transportation and/or scout establishments you will possibly frequent when you make a friend.

#5. Apply relentlessly for internships and jobs. Pressure someone into hiring you.***

#6. Wait patiently until dormant social anxiety seasons your personality with that fine ambiguity between "fascinatingly quirky" and "mentally ill."

#7. HIT THE BARS!****Or do modular Hitleresque dance moves at appropriate dance venues with conviction until someone joins you.

#8. Slog away at job/internship/second job/freelance project gaining confidence and skills until indescribably attractive male inevitably shows up stubbornly insisting on cooking for you and stewarding your emotional development in a positive direction. All of a sudden breakfast is being made for you and sweatpants adorn your lower half...

#9: Repeat step #3 with possible snack compromise to accommodate extraordinarily attractive male.

*no more than two weeks notice is necessary
**substitute Tillamook Ice Cream (any non-fruit variety) with toppings for sugar moods
***most commonly spoken language of country fluency (or near fluency) highly recommended
****more successful in some cities than in others


einar said...

I failed at #1, woe is me :( oh well, I have some ideas of my own.. but I wonder what the recommended bed-appropriate snack would be for Madrid?

Caitlin said...

Hahaha, you tell me! Queso y jamon sandwich? There has to be something.

LAUREN O said...

this is a list is stunningly appropriate for my new york life. i think number four hits closest to my heart.
and the bed-appropriate snack in new york city is hummus and anything that can be dipped into it.

carol said...

This is brilliant.

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