Thursday, April 29, 2010

Garrett


I'm not really sure how this is related to anything, except that it happened. Today. To me.

I was supposed to be driving to Seattle in preparation for my flight across the big pond. I was Netherlands-bound until I logged in to check my itinerary and discovered that...THE VOLCANO GOT ME! But only by 24 hours. No big deal, except missing the biggest party of the year in Amsterdam by one day. Truly though, I was over it in a matter of minutes. I needed a few extra hours to tie up loose ends and try on my outfits (because up until now, I'd only been trying on Matthias'...) That's just the preface.

Last night, I noticed a smell in the basement. Not a terrible one, or a very strong one but...a smell. I knew some little creeper was nesting up in the rafters (there are some holes, shabby-ish areas perfect for such beings). I could literally smell him. I had heard it scratching around too, but could not discern a species. Baby bird was my best guess, because my phone rang really loudly and the creeper started chirping in surprise/alarm/distress. Anyway, I didn't trouble myself too much about it, just mentioned it in passing to my roommates "yeah, I think there's a baby bird or something nesting in the rafters down there."

Today, right after I realized I had 24 hours to spare, I sat down to a leisurely lunch. I let the bunny out to romp around and it had just hopped back into its cage when up the basement stairs and into the kitchen strolls, A TINY LITTLE SQUIRREL. You have got to be kidding me. (I said this aloud). He just wrung his hands and stared at me. As I stood up to grab a broom, he scurried under the kitchen cabinets (again, some unfinished areas perfect for creepers). Great. I was supposed to start my Euro-journey today and now this is what I'm doing instead.

I blockaded the doorways (note, no doors. Also in progress, also ideal for creepers strolling up into the kitchen to much some crumbs!) to the basement and living room with various coffee tables, left some bunny treats out on the floor hoping he would come out to claim them and went back to sewing. I left the back door open thinking maybe he'd just do the right thing and leave. NOPE.

Twenty minutes or so into squirrelgate, I ascended to the kitchen and caught him collecting a bunny treat. He stared, I stared, he scurried back under the cabinets. I quietly grabbed a broom and took a seat on the upended coffee table. He peeked out, wrung his hands. I stared. He scurried to the other cabinet and wrung his hands. He hid. He peeked out again. He tried to sneak along the fridge DIRECLY TOWARD ME. I shooed him away. He did it again. I shooed him and he spooked. He tried it a third time and didn't spook. Boom, here's my chance. I started hockey sliding him along the floor back and forth toward the open door, so close and he escapes into a corner, but he's trapped. Vincent comes in the front door. "GRAB A BROOM!" I yell and we both end up finally corralling the little dude out the door with a nice swipe.

We thought he would bound off into oblivion without a second thought. Instead he sat there, dazed for a moment and then TRIED TO GET BACK IN. He paced, he peeked, he STOOD UP ON HIS HIND LEGS AND PRESSED HIS FRONT PAWS TO THE DOOR GLASS! Then he made a couple of slow laps around the perimeter of the deck, came back to the door AND STARTED SCREAMING. "Awwww!" Was Vincent's response, and I kind of have to agree. Our hypothesis is that he was born in one of the weird eves of our house that squirrels are always trying to get into and fell down some hole, ending up in the basement. We don't think he's ever been outside. I named him Garrett.

Why, you might ask, am I sharing this with you at this odd hour? Because I just sewed a new lining in an old purse, ate some popcorn, was about to turn out the lights and....I heard him crying at the door. HE'S STILL THERE. Waiting for his magical moment of reentry...

6 comments:

carol said...

There's something really heart-wrenching about this: A squirrel who's made a home in your home, only to realize that he was always an outsider. Awww.

Rachel Wrong said...

This is really tragic. If I hadn't just stopped taking my emotion-boosting birth control I would have wept while reading this.

shola said...

let that man back in will you? he's scared! soon he’ll be sitting at the kitchen table flipping through the new york times while eating kashi go lean.

matthias said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
matthias said...

He also wants to be a part of the house, let him make friends with the rabbit! Also he just wanted to snuggle when he came up towards you and then he gets kicked out :( poor guy :)

Caitlin said...

It is totally tragic, isn't it? My aunt's manpanion made it even worse when I was in Seattle. After I told them the story, he sighed. "Caitlin! You're the first person he saw! He thinks you're his MOTHER and you swept him outside into the cold with a broom." My roommates have had several Garrett sightings in my absence. At least the neighborhood cats haven't eaten him yet...

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